In two days he gets his second lot of testosterone. I am really apprehensive about what that is going to mean.
His aggression has lessened the last week...but he has an underlying nervousness the last couple of days, that still means he has a bit of a bite. I dont know if it has to do with upcoming T or other non-transition stuff. He is more like the J I knew...
I am scared about how this next dose is going to affect him, and therefore how it is going to affect me. I bear the brunt. Sometimes because, quite frankly, I forget what is happening with him, and with us, and want to be able to relate to him the way I did before. Sometimes because i am the only one there. Sometimes just because.
So, fear acknowledged...exhaled...and now to strengthen myself a little...
