I miss him today.

It is one month to Christmas.

Last night we were talking about and making plans for Christmas. Together in the morning for the kids, then he takes them with his family, and i take them for mine.

His first Christmas out. His first Christmas on T. His first Christmas more him. His first Christmas without me by his side.

This makes me sad.

I love family. And family things. And BOY do i love Christmas!!!

This year, I will be without him and his family. I will be without my children for a portion of the day. And its not okay with me.

I have to, for my childrens sake, make this as great as possible. I dont want to fake this, but the thought of being genuinely excited about it is hard to fathom right now also.

I miss him and our pre-Christmas stuff.