Each tradition that you create together as a couple, is so painful to experience alone.
We have had a tradition for the last 8 years or so, that when a Harry Potter movie comes out, we go together, in Gold Class to watch it the day it comes out. This year, it didnt look like it was going to happen.
This morning, at 1201am, I took my son and J and we watched it in Gold Class. As it was only a week ago that his ticket was added to ours, we couldnt sit together. And this time of our usual pre-movie routine was absent.
And i sat in this movie theatre, and i was loving the movie. But the experience was tarnished. All of the memories of previous years experiences came flooding back. And the fact that he was in the room, but separate from us, did not escape me. I had a great time. But it wasnt THE time.
Like everything for the past several months. Things with him are same same, but different. Even the good, exciting, stuff.
And, despite the odds, I was reminded of my love for him. And fell in love with him a little more again.
And after the movie i dropped him and my son back to J's parents (its my sons time with him), and I drove away. No after movie debriefing...his tiredness the focus of conversation. Although we had experienced this tradition together, i was experiencing it alone (with the exception of my glorious son).
I have lived through another milestone. And I am same same, but different.
